- I was
born in 1971, in the cultural wake of the Vietnam war.
brother was born when I was 2.
I was in grade school, I thought I could hear the silent
ends of screams. Not so much the sounds, but the feeling
of tense, expelled breath. I thought they might be ghosts.
- I was
given an IQ test and did well. The test administrator told
my parents that I could do anything I wanted to in life.
My parents passed that statement on to me often as a type
of loving encouragement. Unfortunately, I heard it as “You
should do everything. And anything you fail at is your fault”
I was 13, I complained about my teacher on the first day
On the second day of school my mom drove me to a special
school with all new kids.
At the new school, filled with nerds, I was athletic and
cool for the first time in my life.
also felt stupid for the first time in my life.
I became suicidal and went to counseling for the first time
in my life.
therapist and my parents decided to take me out of the special
- A couple
years later, I quit little league mid-season. Mid-game.
I threw my bat and started walking home in my cleats.
I was in Jr. High I drew screaming faces over and over again.
I wrote dark poetry about nuclear war. I listed to Bauhaus.
ages 6-10 I took Aikido with Martin Katz. It planted powerful
seeds of non-violence and taught me about the flow of aggressive
- I was
in a fight once in my life. In 4th grade. At soccer practice.
second surge of violence was at a high school football game.
I punched a stranger in the face durring a fan brawl..
my virginity or Prom night, right before my 18th birthday.
Neither one of us climaxed.
- I wore
turtle necks every day for a year (10th grade) because I
thought it made my ears smaller and my 'pencil neck' not-so-noticable.
- I wore
makeup (foundation) during jr high and high school because
of my complexion.
- I was
heavily into underground rap in 1988-89. My rap name was
first car was a beige Volvo Station Wagon.
- I Helped
start a fraternity while in college.
first URL in 1996, prehensile.com,
to migrate my xeroxed “zine” to this new worldwide
publishing system I heard about.
by Fruit of the Loom for a parody piece called “Meat
of the Loom.”
After grassroots protests and press in Wired magazine, FotL
back down in one of the first demonstrations of web as tool
for collective action against evil (corporations).
publicly explore inward using this new medium.
the 2000 Webby for best personal website, cockybastard.com.
as Spokesperson and Community Voice for the 2 million member
college Club.com web community from 1999-2001
a TV Pilot "Hot Tub TV"
Kaycee Nicole and promoted her weblog enthusiastically.
(Her fake persona and death was one of TWO highly public
times when I was played a fool.)
intimacy” to explain the real connections people
have over the net
webcams as a tool for connecting via the web. After developing
CClive at collegeclub, created and ran CitizenX.com, experimental
and ran “live audience” interactive webcam events
(MEANING THE VIEWERS HAVE CAMS AND ARE ALSO PARTICIPANTS.)
like Virtual Grace, HugNation,
andthe FeelTheLove call-in show.
for 2.5 years in a 24/7 webcam house with night vision and
of an MTV documentary about living publicly.
Donaldson said "Get a load of that guy! What an
ego!" about me on the air at the 2001 Webby Awards.
MC'd The SXSW web awards (live event) from1999-2003.
a second webby with my grandpa in 2007 for our video podcast,
the first ever "Hug
Tour" in honor of Grandp Caleb.
2002, I was named one of the 10
most hated sites on the net by Yahoo Internet Life Magazine.
2007 Yahoo featured me & Grandpa as notable "People
of the Web"
when people are explaining things to me in a warm way, I
get a blissful tingling sensation. I’ve called it
“the feeling” since I was a kid. Sometimes an
interesting accent can trigger it. Sometimes a cold chill,
or foreign accent helps maintain it.
- I cut
off my hair on a TV makeover show.
my first “real” date on the Gameshow STUDS.
Man is a central part of my spiritual practice. (participant
my right nipple in 1991 and my left in 2001.
- I have
best friend is my brother.
- I tend
to be very good at being in the moment. But much worse at
- I forget
- I love
dancing in places where you can take your clothes off if
you want. At least your shirt.
- I *heart*
skin complexion is my weakness. I pick at my face and then
get depressed when my face is a mess.
- I enjoy
self grooming more than I should.
- I like
the ritual of separate pre-sex showering. Like preparing
- I believe
audio volume is the most under-rated element of a good sex
personal mantra is, “love more, fear less. float more,
- I had
a spiritual experience on a mountaintop in Turkey in 1991
and have been changed ever since.
given seminars at internet conferences and the national
Lifestyles Swinger convention.
- I hosted
a weekly call-in radio show for almost 2 years.
never been in a romantic relationship that lasted more than
had the personal licence plates: DEF MANE, C*CKY, HUGABLE,
and HUG NATN