I had a woman stand me up last weekend.

It was *going* to be my first date in 3 months and now my confidence is a little shaken.

*sigh*
It was one thing when I wasn't dating...At least I could tell myself "I could meet someone if I really tried." Well now I'm really trying...and I can't meet anyone. When I finally got the courage up to get a date, it still didn't work out.

Is it too much to ask to have a woman excited to go out with me? I mean, if I have a date with someone, I'm excited. If I had to cancel, I'd try to reschedule. If I couldn't make it, I'd call and apologize. But I'd go on the date if at all possible.

I don't want to go out with anyone that is that blasť about being with me. It felt like she looked at the TV guide, saw there was a good made for TV movie on (starring one of the girls from Baywatch in a dramatic role), and picked that over me.

I know I'm worth more than that. But sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who thinks so. Maybe that's why I scream it so loud (cockybastard.com, etc.) because I'm insecure and need to hear it somewhere...

I wonder if my broadcasting my sexuality keeps women away?, OR does the fact that women *are* away make me need to broadcast my sexuality?

May 17, nineteen98


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